Networking Like a Pro: Turning Contacts Into Connections

In today's business environment, networking is becoming more important than ever. Customers and clients have become adept at tuning out unsolicited messages. Emails, ads, and direct mail can be thrown away or turned off without a second thought. We're so saturated with marketing material that we've become almost immune.

This puts our personal relationships, which the authors call social capital, in a strong position to help drive and grow our business. If it's managed well, our social network can have a huge impact in our success.

Networking Like a Pro is an instruction manual for those us of who have always avoided, and even dreaded, networking. This highly-readable, step-by-step guide shows us exactly why networking is so important today, and gives us clear instructions for setting up a long-term networking strategy.

The authors cover tips for online networking, one-on-one elevator pitches, and several other scenarios. So, by the time you're done with this book you may, indeed, network like a pro.

Author Ivan Misner is the founder and chairman of Business Networking International, or BNI, the world's largest business networking organization. He's written eleven books, including several bestsellers.

Brian Hilliard is a marketing expert and the owner of Agito Consulting. David Alexander is the chief networking officer of Referrals For Life, one of the largest BNI franchises in the world.

Together, these three authors have more than enough expertise to teach us how to become savvy networkers.

So, who should read this book? Well if you've ever wanted to learn how to increase your sales or client base through networking, this book is for you.

This book can also help if you're not in a sales or ownership position. The skills it teaches work just as well in everyday office relationships. Internal networking can, over time, help you get a promotion, land a key project, or even convince your boss to try different ways of working. So, it's definitely worth your while to give it a look.

So, ready to start learning some networking secrets from the pros? Keep listening to find out the one simple philosophy behind great networking, what you need to say to be remembered by new contacts, and how to pick which group to walk up to at a mixer.

There are a total of twenty-nine chapters in this book, divided into five parts. The book begins by looking at our networking mind-set. In part two we get to the meat of our networking strategy, and in part three we learn all we need to know for networking face to face. Part four teaches us how to really make our network work, and the last section is full of secrets from the networking masters.

So, the book starts by addressing our networking mindset. The authors say that many people look at networking as a one-step process. You hand out a business card, shake a hand, and viola! You've networked.

Good networking involves much more than that. Good networking is all about developing long-term relationships with people. And, it all starts with giving.

The authors' philosophy about networking is that givers gain. If we want to reap the rewards of a great network, we've got to start by putting aside our dreams of landing dozens of referrals. Instead, we should follow the law of reciprocity, which states that the more we give, the more we gain. The more we help others achieve success first, the more we're going to gain later on.

This mindset is the foundation of networking.

The authors suggest we focus on giving business to others, whether we're at a networking event, conference, or chatting with a new contact online. Doing this proves to our network that we truly care about them. Over time, this care and attention may pay incredible dividends, often in ways we don't expect.

So, what should we actually say to people when we're in a networking situation?

Well, the authors say that many of us make the mistake of grilling people when we first meet them, mainly to determine if they're likely to do business with us or not. Instead of having conversations, it sounds as if we're holding job interviews.

This is always obvious, and a huge turn off. Instead, we need to ask questions that show we're truly interested in what the other person does, not whether or not they're going to do business with us.

One way you can show you care is to offer free professional advice to people you're chatting with. Giving valuable advice proves you're good at what you do, and it also shows you care about the other person's success. This will be remembered far longer than if you show up with a sales spiel.

Part two goes into networking strategy. This section is full of really useful information, because it teaches us how to choose which networking scenarios will pay off most in the long-term, and which won't.

We've got to start by identifying who our best prospects are. Defining our target market helps us identify where we're going to meet those prospects.

For instance, if your business or organization services people in the medical field, then attending local chamber of commerce networking events may be a waste of your time. Instead, you should focus on doing volunteer projects with local doctors and hospitals.

When we spend time defining who we want, we can pin down the events where our efforts are going to have maximum effect. And, this saves time in the long run.

The authors also spend time discussing online networks here – like the professional networking site Linked In and the social network Facebook. Their stance is that online networking is a good tool, but it should never be used as your only tool. Online networks don't provide the environment you need to develop deep relationships – like face-to-face meetings can. But, the internet can help people find or start a network.

The authors recommend only joining a few online networks. If you join every network out there you're going to spread yourself too thin to make any kind of impact.

What else is in part two? Well, we learn why small, insignificant events can often lead to transformational opportunities, if we're open to receive them. The authors also show us how to set up a several small streams of contacts that, when put together, create a networking river.

Part three focuses on networking face to face. This is where most people start to get intimidated. To address this, the authors have packed this section with really useful strategies and creative tips.

For instance, many people feel daunted when they walk into a room full of people already talking. But the authors give us several diagrams that help us choose which group we should approach to join the conservation. The way people are standing, the authors say, is a good indication of how we'll be received when we walk up to them.

A good tip is to avoid groups that are faced inward, talking to each other with their backs to the door. These people are in private conversations, and should be considered closed.

Other groups, which the authors call open-two and open-three, are visibly open. Their bodies are oriented outward, and they're not likely to be in a serious, private conversation.

The diagrams in the book make it easy for readers to learn quickly how to read a crowd during an event.

Another interesting concept is one the authors call the "twelve by twelve by twelve rule." This helps us see ourselves from the crowd's point of view, and it's defined by asking three important questions.

The first is: how do I look from twelve feet away? This question forces us to examine whether we look the part or not. If we're going to be meeting potential contacts, we need to look our best. We also have to focus on our body language, and what it's saying about us.

The next question is: how do I look from twelve inches away? When I step up to someone, what will their perception of me be?

The last question is: what will be the first twelve words out of my mouth? We've got about twenty seconds to make a good first impression, so a smile and a memorable quip about what we do is vital. The authors advise us not to just tell people what we do. Instead, we should tell them what problems we solve for our clients or company.

Now that you've joined a group and introduced yourself, what else do you say to these people?

Well, the authors say the most powerful way to turn off your new contacts is to start talking about yourself. Instead, we need to focus on them, by asking questions. But, not just any questions. We need to ask memorable questions.

For instance, imagine a new contact has just told you she owns a printing business. You could say, "Oh, that's really interesting. What do you like best about the printing business?"

As well as opening up a potentially interesting conversation, this approach allows you to get some insight into that person's likes and dislikes. And another upside? If they're like most people, they'll realize they've talked enough at some point, and ask the same question back to you.

The authors give us several great questions in this chapter, which will come in handy the next time you're meeting a new contact.

According to the authors, we should also keep our mind off our business reflexes when we're meeting new contacts. Instead, they advise us to focus on getting to know new people and developing new relationships. If your goal is to sell your services or promote your company, people are going to pick up on that, just by the way you communicate. So, stay focused on relationship building.

In part four, we learn several strategies for making these relationships work over the long term.

Now, actually getting referrals from your contacts is going to take time. How much time depends on several factors.

You have to realize that every time you get a referral, it means that a contact is willing to place their reputation on the line for you. So, your contacts must have confidence in you before they'll start sending you referrals.

A big factor in this is your profession. If you're a florist, it's not a big risk for someone to refer you to someone else to buy flowers from. But if you're a lawyer or accountant, the stakes are much higher and it will take longer to start getting referrals. Your contact could be seriously burned if you're not good at what you do.

The authors call this the time-confidence curve, and they give us a diagram that helps measure our contacts' confidence in us over time. We also get key questions in this chapter that help us estimate where we are on the time-confidence curve.

These questions will help you realize how important long-term development is in networking, especially if you're in a high-stakes profession.

How do you start cementing your relationships with your new contacts? In the first instance, it's vital you follow-up with them.

Usually a quick email is the best way. In the email, remind the person who you are, what you do, and where you met. Then, focus the email on what you can do to help that person.

For instance, you could say: I was thinking we could get together for quick cup of coffee so I could learn more about what you do. That way, if I run into anyone who needs your services, I could point them in the right direction.

By focusing on the other person like this, you're almost guaranteed a follow-up meeting. These meetings are what will allow you to start increasing the trust factor, which, in turn, will lead to referrals down the road.

If you're wondering what you should say and do during these follow-up meetings, then don't sweat it. The authors give us several strategies for helping our new contacts, as well as telling us how to ask for referrals right then and there.

So, what's our last word on Networking Like a Pro?

Well, the book is full of useful and creative ideas for getting the most out of your networking efforts. It's surprisingly easy to read, and many of the tips and strategies are creative and straightforward. The authors' tone is like that of trusted friends giving us helpful advice, so it's definitely a book that's easy to pick up and put down.

We also liked that you don't have to be an extrovert personality to apply these techniques. One of the authors, Ivan Misner, admits he's an introvert himself. And yet, using these techniques, he helped found the largest business networking organization on the planet. So even if you're painfully shy, you can still network your way to success, because many of these techniques focus on listening.

Networking Like a Pro is a book that pretty much anyone can learn from. Chances are, all of us could use some pointers on networking, and thanks to the authors' friendly style, these tips are easy to dive into and digest.

Networking Like a Pro, by authors Ivan Misner, David Alexander, and Brian Hilliard, is published by Entrepreneur Press.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Click here to buy the book from Amazon.