Master Active Listening

Presenter: Listen, there's a skill that most people think they're good at, but they're really not, and if they did something about it, they'd handle information better, remember more, even improve their relationships. Wanna hear what it is? Active listening. Not just waiting for someone to finish talking so you can start, but really hearing what they're saying, showing you're listening, and having effective, enjoyable conversations.

You can learn to be an active listener in five simple steps, so why not try them out as you listen to me?

First, pay attention. It's all too easy to let your mind wander and get caught up in other things.

[Cut to a female and male colleague sitting next to each other in an office.]

Julia (talking to colleague Max): Need to consider doing your presentation... do with some improvements, the template maybe...

[Cut back to presenter, talking directly to camera.]

Presenter: So, get rid of distractions. Focus your attention on the person who's talking. Notice what they're saying with their body language, as well as their words, and think about what you're hearing, not just what you're going to say in response.

Next, show that you're listening. This keeps you alert and engaged in the conversation. Eye contact's important, if you feel comfortable with that. Also, nodding occasionally or smiling, if appropriate. You'll boost your connection and increase trust if you show someone you're listening to them.

Also, react to what you hear. If you're really listening, you'll have a response. Are you confused, challenged, charmed? Do you agree or disagree? What does all of this mean for you? It's a good idea to check what you think you've heard at key points in the conversation.

[Cut to a female and male colleague sitting next to each other in an office.]

Max: So what you're saying is the project's gonna be moved back a week.

Julia: Mm-hmm, yes.

Presenter: So, drop in questions from time to time.

Max: Will everyone still be involved then?

Julia: Yeah, of course.

Presenter: And it might help to summarize what you've heard at the end.

Max: So basically, we need to finish the projects in a week. Everyone is still involved, but we're gonna find a new location for the last two days.

Julia: Exactly.

[Cut back to presenter, talking directly to camera.]

Presenter: Remember to defer judgment till the end. Resist interrupting the other person. You might stop and break their train of thought and prevent them from explaining themselves properly or getting to their most important point. And, don't let one comment override everything else they're saying. Make a conscious effort to listen to it all. Let your opinions form naturally as the conversation goes on.

Finally, respond appropriately. This means replying to what the other person really said, not suddenly switching to another topic. If you base what you say on what you heard, you'll be carrying the conversation forward, not just starting one of your own.

[Cut back to Max and Julia talking in an office.]

Julia: You know, I think that's really interesting. I actually read an article about him the other day. You know, he started his company when he was only 19.

Presenter: You'll also be respecting what they've said, even if you disagree with it.

Julia: It sounds like you're a fan of his approach. Not sure about his leadership style, though.

Presenter: This will also encourage the other person to treat you with the respect you've shown them.

Active listening involves paying attention, showing you're listening, reacting to what you hear, but deferring judgment to the end, and responding appropriately. The more you do it, the more you'll get from the conversations you have, and the more others will learn how to listen well to you.