Understanding Anger

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience or annoyance.[2] They can't take things in their stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust even when it is perfectly reasonable, e.g. being corrected for a minor mistake.

There are a number of possible explanations for this:[3]

• Anger may be genetic or physiological. Evidence suggests that some children are born irritable and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age.
• Another reason may be cultural. Anger is frequently regarded as negative. People are often told that it is acceptable to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, they don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
• Research has also found that family background plays a role. This is not always the case, but people who are easily angered can come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and are not skilled emotional communicators.

The Three Ways of Processing Anger

Instinctively, people express anger by responding aggressively, often in response to a threat of some description. A certain degree of anger is necessary for human survival as it works in tandem with our protective instincts, but it is not acceptable to physically lash out at every person or thing that may irritate or enrage. Laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far anger can be expressed.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are: [4]

1. Expressing

Anger can be expressed in many different ways, ranging from a look, to a firm word, to an act of violence. Expressing anger in an assertive, rather than aggressive, manner is the healthiest way of dealing with it. Effective assertive behavior involves a person being clear on what their needs are and how they should be met. Many people struggle with this as being assertive can often come across as pushy, demanding, or disrespectful.

2. Suppressing

Anger can be suppressed (i.e. held in), and then converted or redirected, hopefully by focusing on something positive. The aim is to turn angry emotions into more constructive behavior. The danger with this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, anger can turn inward. This can cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression. Unexpressed anger can create other problems unless it is challenged appropriately. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior or an outwardly cynical and hostile personality. People who are constantly putting others down and who are overly critical may not have learned how to constructively express their anger.

3. Calming

The third technique to help quash anger is to remain calm. This means not just controlling outward behavior, but also controlling internal responses, taking steps to lower the heart rate and letting feelings of anger subside. Anything from deep breathing to visualizing something pleasant can help to reduce feelings of anger.

Problems with expressing anger can arise when none of these three techniques work. When people find themselves reacting in ways that seem out of control or disproportionate to the issue, it is possible that help could be required to deal with this emotion, such as a structured anger management program.

Anger Management

The goal of anger management is to reduce both emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. It is not always possible to eradicate, avoid or change the things or people that provoke these emotions, but people can learn to control their reactions.

Anger management professionals work with an individual to help them to feel that they are not at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

There are numerous techniques an anger management professional could recommend, ranging from something as simple as keeping a diary to ascertain if flashpoints (i.e. particular times or events that trigger irrational anger in a person) are consistently occurring, to counseling.

Additionally, there are psychological tests that measure how prone to anger a person is, the intensity of their feelings, how they are handled, and how they manifest themselves in everyday life.

Anger Can’t Be Eliminated, and Nor Should It

Sometimes, anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to certain difficulties, so long as it is expressed correctly.

It is also a mistake to think that anger can be avoided – it is an intrinsic emotion and it can’t be eliminated entirely. Even with every effort made to avoid it, things will happen in a person’s life that will cause them to be angry. The focus should not be on changing the events themselves, but on the way such events affect the person.