Unlocking the Power of Emotional Intelligence in Female Executives

Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage and express your emotions while understanding those of others. It also means recognizing how your emotions affect other people.

Also known as emotional quotient (EQ), it sets the tone for a supportive team culture, which often translates to employee retention, productivity and strong client relations.

However, in general, society has been conditioned to believe that women are more emotionally intelligent than men – although the reality is more complex.

EQ encompasses several leadership skills, with women more likely to excel at some and men more likely to excel at others. For example, studies often conclude that women score higher in empathy while men score higher in emotional control. [1]

This is likely because of social constructs. We all experience the same emotions, however, men are widely socialized to hide emotion, and women are widely socialized to share it.

This article will examine emotional intelligence in a leadership context, explain why women may exhibit EQ more than men, and offer strategies to overcome pitfalls related to gender bias.

What Is Emotional Intelligence in Leadership?

Psychologist Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Theory defines EQ through five pillars. [2] Upon publication, his theory offered a radical new perspective on intelligence, suggesting that EQ in leadership can be more valuable than traditional IQ.

Here are Goleman’s five EQ pillars and how they apply to leadership.

1. Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the capacity to understand your emotions, values, motivations, strengths, and weaknesses. Effective leaders recognize how these affects both them and others.

2. Self-Regulation

Self-regulation is the capacity to balance our mood, neutralize disruptive impulses, and manage emotional reactions. Effective leaders maintain self-control and trust themselves, even in difficult situations.

3. Empathy

Empathy is the capacity to understand another’s emotions – even when these aren’t obvious. Effective leaders actively listen and relate to others with political awareness and an understanding of diversity.

4. Social Skills

Social skills refer to the capacity to communicate, manage conflict, and build trusting relationships. Effective leaders use these skills to inspire others, put them at ease, and facilitate collaboration.

5. Motivation

Motivation is the capacity to feel passion, drive toward a goal, and be optimistic – even during challenges. Effective leaders desire achievement and persist with resilience, identifying solutions to obstacles.

These five facets of EQ are critical in nurturing trust and collaboration, which lay the groundwork for strong team performance.

As such, the career test leader Truity considers EQ the “most important predictor of success at work.” [3]

Why Women in Leadership May Exhibit EQ More Than Men

Although women aren’t necessarily more emotionally intelligent than men, research shows that they may exhibit more EQ qualities. This is likely because of the gendered normalization mentioned above.

For example, a 2016 study found that women scored higher than men in 11 of 12 EQ competencies. Women were 86 percent more likely to show consistent self-awareness and 45 percent more likely to show consistent empathy.

Women also outperformed men in EQ traits like mentoring, inspirational leadership, and conflict management. [4]

The Empathy Trap and Other EQ Pitfalls

Despite the value of EQ in leadership, many emotionally intelligent female leaders fall into the “empathy trap.” This happens when they take on projects that are unlikely to lead to promotions, like writing a meeting summary or onboarding someone, which can leave them facing diminished recognition.

Managers are 50 percent more likely to assign non-promotable work to women than men, and women are 50 percent more likely to agree to do this work. Women don’t agree because they’re better at the work or because they enjoy it. They agree because of the expectation to do so. [5]

Other potential pitfalls include peers reframing a woman’s emotional intelligence as negative. For example, a woman may be considered “too emotional” while a man displaying the same behaviors may be considered “passionate.”

Amy Kalokerinos’ TEDx Talk, “Have You Been Called Emotional or Aggressive At Work?” offers examples of women and men being judged differently on “emotional” behaviors. [6]

She encourages women to combat this microaggression by agreeing with the “emotional” label. This translates the negativity into a compliment.

Aside from reassigning negative perceptions, you can also:

• Set boundaries: while understanding others’ emotions is valuable, prioritizing these over your own needs can be detrimental. It’s healthy to highlight behaviors or labels that you're not comfortable with.
• Advocate for recognition: if your efforts are being suppressed, document your achievements. This will help you to collate a compelling history of your contributions to share with superiors when discussing leadership opportunities.
• Balance empathy in leadership with assertiveness: empathy is a fundamental aspect of strong leadership, but it can lead to being taken advantage of. When combined with assertive compassion, you go from being “nice” to implementing supportive actions that drive progress.

Leveraging EQ for Leadership Succes

Emotional intelligence is a powerful leadership asset, but its effectiveness hinges on maintaining clear boundaries and overcoming gender biases.

In a work culture that attempts to suppress your emotional intelligence, try these strategies to bring EQ to the forefront of your leadership:

• Manage team conflict with empathy: remember that the most empathetic action you can take will depend on the person. For example, while one person might need autonomy over their workflow, another may need more "hand-holding."
• Inspire teams by connecting motivation with vision: encourage team members to visualize project success, including the success of their individual contributions. You can also arrange rewards along the way to keep morale high.
• Strengthen workplace relationships through social skills: as your team works on a project, consider each person’s perspective to enable you to support them. Notice their tone of voice and body language to hear more than their words.

These strategies can help you lead a team where creativity flows and employees feel motivated to make their strongest contributions.

Celebrating Emotional Intelligence in Female Executives

We can also look to high-profile female leaders who embrace EQ in leadership as role models. Examples include:

• Mary Barra, who led General Motors under the mantra, “Do the right thing, even when it’s hard.” She didn’t only apply this mantra to crisis management. She also applied it to her everyday leadership as she shifted the company to an electric future. [7]
• Indra Nooyi, who led PepsiCo with her “Five Cs” – competency, courage and confidence, communication, consistency, and compass (integrity). Under her leadership, the company’s revenue nearly doubled. [8]
• Anne Mulcahy, who led a transformation that prevented Xerox from going bankrupt. As CEO, she didn’t take credit for this transformation. Instead, she delegated to teams, leveraging their zones of genius while she became the “master of I don’t know.” [9]

CEOs like Barra, Nooyi and Mulcahy demonstrate that emotional intelligence is a set of strengths, not stereotypes.

Consider which of Goleman’s EQ pillars are your strengths and know that these are your leadership superpowers. Powers that can foster trust, drive collaboration, and inspire teams.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What role does EQ play in female leadership?

EQ empowers female executives by strengthening relationships, fostering collaboration, and driving team motivation, often proving more valuable than IQ.

Why are women perceived as more emotionally intelligent?

Studies show women exhibit higher EQ traits due to social conditioning that encourages emotional expression, while men are often taught to suppress emotions.

What challenges do women face with high EQ?

Women may fall into the “empathy trap,” taking on undervalued tasks. Assertiveness and self-advocacy help counteract these biases.

How can female executives harness EQ effectively?

By setting boundaries, advocating for recognition, and balancing empathy with assertiveness, women can leverage EQ as a leadership superpower.