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Really Hearing, Really Listening
And how the HURIER model really helps
By Kevin Dunne, Mindtools Content Editor and Writer
I’ve always thought of myself as a good listener. I’ve been a journalist for 35 years and counting, so I’ve spent plenty of my time asking questions and paying attention to the answers.
I’ve listened to anyone from professional sports coaches and athletes, to experts, academics, managers, and musicians – back to the old couples I used to interview on the secrets of a good marriage when their 40th anniversary came around for my first local newspaper.
I was paid to pay attention and to faithfully report back what I’d heard, without my own personal opinions and biases getting in the way.
Of course that’s not truly 100 percent possible. But that, in good faith, was what I tried to achieve.
It’s not possible because, apart from my shorthand notes in the old days – and thankfully digital recorders these days – I always came away with an impression; a feeling about the person I’d just spoken to and about what they’d said.
And that influenced what I thought and what I wrote. It couldn’t be otherwise.
Stop Thinking About Your Response
I never really thought about how this impression was formed. But looking back, it was usually based on how we got on, the rapport we built up.
Whether it reflected the full, true picture of what was said, what was meant, is less certain.
In my personal life I wasn’t so attentive. I certainly never took notes if I was having a “discussion” with my partner! And I didn’t listen nearly as conscientiously.
That’s mainly because I was busy thinking about what I was going to say back, and being preoccupied with formulating my response meant I wasn’t really listening at all.
So it’s probably fair to say my impression was formed by what I thought. My opinions, my preconceived notions, and my unrestrained unconscious biases dominated the picture.
This probably accounts for the fact that it’s so difficult to change anyone’s idea about anything! We all do it; we all think we’re listening properly but we’re actually not.
Letting the Message Get Through
In my current job, I’ve come to realize that there’s a whole lot more to listening than I ever thought, so I like to think I’m getting better at it.
I have a confession to make: before this job, I’d never heard of active listening, never mind active-empathic listening.
In a nutshell, active-empathic listening is making a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, taking steps to ensure that you understand the whole, complete message being communicated. And, if required, acting on it.
Active-empathic listening also happens to be one of the 12 key skills modern managers need, as identified by our research and contained in our Building Better Managers report.
And one of the best ways to improve your listening is by adopting the HURIER model, first developed by U.S. academic Dr Judi Brownell in 1996 – after she was asked for help by an organization whose employees’ most frequent complaint was that their managers “didn’t listen.”
Sure, they heard what was said, but they didn’t get the full picture, didn’t really understand, and often did nothing about what they were told anyway. The end result? Employees who didn’t feel heard, much less understood – who end up disengaged, demotivated, less productive, and more likely to leave.
What Is the HURIER Model?
You won’t be surprised to learn that HURIER is an acronym, standing for Hearing, Understanding, Remembering, Interpreting, Evaluating, and Responding.
- Hearing: physically being able to hear what someone’s saying so you can actually listen to them. Eliminating distractions, finding the right location.
- Understanding: comprehending the message as a whole, so listening to the end without interrupting. Then asking questions.
- Remembering: taking notes and hacks for improving your memory help.
- Interpreting: a test of your social sensitivity and empathy, as well as your ability to read nonverbal signals and read between the lines to give meaning to messages.
- Evaluating: considering the speaker’s credibility and intention. Your judgment’s tested, so remain objective.
- Responding: time for feedback. Let the speaker know what you’ve heard and what you’ve understood – to prevent misunderstandings! And take action if necessary.
Be on Nodding Terms With Uncertainty
Without realizing it, because of my job, I did some of these things quite well. I’d sit down with people somewhere quiet, where we wouldn’t be disturbed. I’d take notes, so I knew what was actually said.
I’d listen without interrupting, but show I was listening by nodding my head to silently convey I understood what they were saying.
And of course, I’d ask follow-up questions on points I wasn’t sure of, so I was clear on what they really meant.
Responding, too, I was pretty good at: “Thanks for your time. I really enjoyed finding out about X and learned something about Y,” feeding back what I’d heard, giving the speaker a chance to correct me if I’d gotten the wrong impression.
And telling them what I was going to do, “This piece will be in next week’s edition,” and so on.
Getting Out of Your Own Way
The elements I was less good at in the HURIER model were interpreting and evaluating. Did I put myself in others’ shoes when I listened to them? Did I pay enough attention to their body language? Were there clues I was missing that might tell me this was the truth I was getting?
Or was somebody telling me they were happy, but their nonverbal signals told a different story?
Did I make a real effort to understand where they were coming from? Did I really listen to their point of view, or did my own opinions, my unconscious biases mean I dismissed them without really considering whether they, and not me, might actually be right?
If you consider all these aspects, practice these skills, and hone your approach, you get better at it; you do it without thinking, like driving.
And people like good listeners. We all like to be heard and, better still, to be understood. It makes our connections, our bonds, our relationships better and deeper.
For managers, this means happier, more cohesive, and more productive teams.
What's Next?
For a deeper dive into some of the subjects touched upon here, see our articles on building rapport, social sensitivity, empathy, and body language. And for more on the HURIER model, see our Skill Bite course on Active-Empathic Listening.
Tip of the Week
Be Mediocre on Purpose
By Melanie Bell, Mindtools Content Writer and Editor
In the movie “Amadeus” (inspired by history but very much not true to life), court composer Antonio Salieri has a pretty great job. Then he meets Mozart, who puts his musical abilities to shame. How can this rude, rambunctious man-child create music that sounds like the voice of God?
I relate to the fictionalized Salieri more than I’d like to admit. I have high standards, and my work rarely lives up to them. Oh, I see other people doing amazing things! But me? Sometimes I’d like to shout, as Salieri did in the movie, “Mediocrities of the world, I am your patron saint!”
I guess you could say I’m a bit of a perfectionist.
Since coming to work at Mind Tools, I’ve learned there are three types of perfectionism:
- Self-oriented perfectionism: wanting oneself to be perfect
- Other-oriented perfectionism: expecting perfection from others
- Socially prescribed perfectionism: feeling pressure from others to be perfect
I’ve experienced all three. Self-oriented perfectionism might be the most painful one for me, and it’s what I’m feeling now as I work on a completely new type of project. “Oh no! What if I get it wrong?”
So, I’m making a conscious effort to embrace the so-so. I try to just get things done. I can always fix them later. If you relate to my struggle with high standards, you might like to try this strategy too. You can even consciously aim for below 100 percent. How about trying for 80? Or if "so-so" doesn't speak to you, try doing something excellent rather than perfect.
For more on perfectionism, and more tips on how to deal with it, see our article on the topic.
Pain Points Podcast
Why do you work so hard? What are you aiming for? How will you know it's all been worthwhile? These are just some of the questions that Stephen Bruyant-Langer asks in "The Existential Playbook" – a mix of philosophy, neuroscience, and no-nonsense hints and hacks.
Stephen was a top exec at Coca-Cola and L'Oreal, and now he coaches people at all levels to work out what success means for them – and how they can move toward it. He's Jonathan Hancock's expert guest on this week's Pain Points: "How Do You Find Meaning at Work?"
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News Roundup
This Week's Global Workplace Insights
Feedback for High Performers
When giving feedback at work, managers, especially new ones, tend to focus on low performers – team members whose work needs improvement.
As Harvard Business Review states, higher performers typically receive lower quality feedback than others do. Yet they can deliver as much as 400 percent more productivity than their colleagues and increase others’ output by 15 percent. And high performers find feedback especially motivating.
Here are some of HBR’s tips for giving meaningful feedback to high performers:
- Offer constructive feedback on how to improve.
- Avoid exaggerating or generalizing (i.e. say “Your clarifying questions at the morning meeting were helpful” instead of “You’re always good at asking questions”).
- Discuss performance, not personality.
- Steer clear of stereotyping.
- Specify steps for career or goal progression.
Wondering where your feedback skills stand? Why not try our self-assessment, How Good Is Your Feedback?
ChatGPT: Bad News for Accessibility?
The widespread use of large language models (LLMs) at work may be bad news for accessibility.
As Fortune reports, former Oracle employee Navin Thadani was trying to increase the accessibility of the company’s applications when he discovered that the most popular LLMs lacked the tools for the job.
He left to co-found an accessibility-focused startup called Evinced, which surveyed the top LLMs and discovered they were all lacking in the accessibility department. This was especially true when it came to keyboard and screen reader compatibility.
Digital accessibility is often forgotten, but it has widespread impact, with the World Health Organization estimating that 1.3 billion people “experience significant disability.” And accessibility doesn’t just help disabled readers; it improves the user experience for everybody.
“We have had robust scanning tools for years now and still we are not getting basic accessibility,” says Lucy Greco from UC Berkeley.
Hopefully, given the rapid pace of technological evolution, this will change.
See you next week for more member-exclusive content and insight from the Mindtools team!
