The Trusted Advisor

"The Trusted Advisor" isn't a new book. It was first published in 2000, and has been on business book bestseller lists ever since. But its advice remains relevant despite its age, especially at a time when faith in business and politics is low, and competition amongst businesses is high.

So who's this book for? As its title suggests, "The Trusted Advisor" is essential reading for anyone working in an advisory role. So if you're a consultant or a coach, or if you offer legal, financial, personal, or any other form of advice, this book is for you.

But trust is an essential part of all successful relationships, so this book has a broad appeal. Leaders and managers who want to win the respect of their employees or teams will gain a lot from this book, as will organizations that want to win the confidence of customers. Individuals who are looking to form any long-lasting relationship based on mutual trust will also benefit.

"The Trusted Advisor" is the work of three respected and highly experienced professional advisors. David Maister advises businesses around the world on strategic and managerial issues. He's a former Harvard Business School professor and the author of a number of best-selling books.

Charles Green is a business strategy consultant to the professional services industry, and the founder and CEO of Trusted Advisor Associates. He's taught at Columbia University's Graduate School of Business and the Kellogg Graduate School of Management at Northwestern University. Green co-authored "The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook," a companion title that we'll return to later.

Robert Galford is a managing partner of the Center for Leading Organizations, which advises companies on leadership and strategy. He's also taught on executive education programs at Harvard, Columbia and Northwestern.

So, keep listening to hear how intimacy builds trust, how to listen to others in a way that shows we care, and how to coach people to set and achieve realistic goals.

"The Trusted Advisor" is divided into three parts. Part One takes a broad-brush look at the topic of trust. It explores the personality traits and mindsets of successful trusted advisors and examines the dynamics of trust. It also looks at how trust impacts the bottom line, explaining how long-lasting business relationships and regular client referrals can save us time, effort and money.

This section is packed with anecdotes. The authors share their experiences of winning clients' trust – or not, in some cases – as well as stories of people they've worked with throughout their careers.

Part Two is the most practical section of the book. The authors set out four components that determine how much we can be trusted, and they take readers through a five-stage process for developing trust.

In Part Three, the authors do some troubleshooting, offering tips on how to deal with different types of client, as well as ideas on how to build trust at different stages of a business relationship or customer journey.

Each section has a lot of useful takeaways, compiled into a series of lists that are repeated in an appendix at the back of the book. This serves as a useful reference guide.

So let's take a look at some of these takeaways, starting with the four primary components of trustworthiness. They are: credibility, reliability, intimacy, and low self-orientation.

The first two – credibility and reliability – are obvious. We have to have knowledge, expertise, and relevant experience in order to win trust. We have to be believable and honest. In many professions, we have to look the part, too. We also have to be dependable, meaning we can be trusted to act consistently, to deliver what we promise, and to fulfill expectations.

The third component of trustworthiness, intimacy, is less obvious, so let's explore that further. Intimacy doesn't mean we have to get involved in people's private lives or share secrets. It's more about building solid relationships with clients. Successful trusted advisors are able to broach sensitive topics, offer honest feedback, and create safe spaces in which their clients feel comfortable enough to be honest in return, knowing that their advisor won't betray their confidence.

But how do we go about establishing this level of intimacy with clients without overstepping the mark, or asking for too much closeness too soon? The authors accept it's a delicate balance.

There's plenty of scope for gaffes when you're trying to establish intimacy, in business as in other parts of your life, but the rewards are worthwhile, they say. They suggest we bear in mind the following points when building close relationships.

Firstly, nothing ventured, nothing gained, as the old adage goes. Creating an atmosphere of intimacy, in which both client and advisor feel able to talk candidly and discuss feelings, requires courage and a degree of risk-taking. Ask yourself, what's the worst that could happen? We may hold back and avoid giving honest feedback or exploring emotions because we're worried about losing business, but perhaps we're more concerned about losing face. The business risk is often exaggerated, the authors say.

Remember that some people in senior positions actually like to be told the truth and to be challenged when necessary. As long as we're able to deliver our ideas diplomatically, people will thank us for them. Some clients might also be longing for an opportunity to share their fears and worries, but they're scared to make the first move.

We shouldn't be afraid to take the initiative. When one person begins to talk openly about his or her feelings or deeper thoughts, the other often responds. If we wait for our client to open up, it might never happen.

When deciding what to say, it's a good idea to test the waters by putting ourselves in our client's shoes. Would we want to talk about this topic with someone we trusted? Would we be ready for this level of intimacy ourselves? It's also wise to give the client a way out. So when we ask a candid question, we should make sure the client is able to sidestep it without any embarrassment. The authors suggest we write down any difficult questions we want to ask and try them out with friends or colleagues before speaking with a client.

Let's also take a brief look at the fourth component of trustworthiness – low self-orientation. Advisors who are self-orientated are focused on themselves, rather than their clients. They're poor listeners, they tend to relate clients' stories back to themselves and their own experiences, they like to be seen to be right, and they usually offer solutions quickly without hearing the problem in full.

The result is a client who doesn't feel listened to or cared about. As you can imagine, this doesn't build trust. We need to show clients that we care, by listening attentively, resisting the temptation to offer an immediate solution, using open-ended questions, and being willing to say that we don't know the answer.

We like the way the authors break down these four components of trustworthiness. Their suggestions are easy to follow and widely applicable to a range of relationships. You can read about a similar approach to building trust in the Mind Tools article, Building Rapport in Coaching.

The authors go on to describe a five-stage process for developing trust that builds on these four components. Let's take a look at some of the stages, starting with the first: Engage.

Initially, an advisor must engage a new client, or re-engage an old one. At the engagement stage, a client begins to feel two things: that he or she wants to discuss an issue with an advisor, and that the advisor is the right person to speak to about this issue.

The next stage is Listen. At the listening stage, a client feels heard and understood, and the advisor earns the right to explore ideas with the client. Good listening is an art form. Trusted advisors listen well when they give the client their full attention minus all distractions, empathize with the client, summarize accurately, tune in to unvoiced emotions, and listen for what's different, not what's familiar. Good listeners also keep asking for more detail to clarify an issue and encourage the client by nodding or smiling.

Here are a few of the things they don't do: they don't interrupt, or try to match the speaker's points by saying, "Something similar happened to me." They don't offer solutions mid-way through or allow distractions to disturb the conversation. These are obvious points, which the authors also make in the section on low self-orientation, but they're well worth repeating.

Framing comes next. This is when the advisor helps the client to clarify the issue and explore different ways of looking at it. It involves getting to the root of the problem. Most challenges have a rational component and a deeper, sometimes hidden, emotional component. It's the advisor's job to clarify the practical issues and to uncover what lies beneath the surface. Only then can the advisor come up with an accurate problem statement that will lead to effective solutions. Tact and diplomacy are often required at this stage and the authors suggest 13 phrases that might prove useful.

For example, we could say, "You've probably thought of this already, but…" or, "I've probably got this all wrong, but what if…" or, "I hope you'll forgive me for not knowing quite how to say this, but…"

We have to say the thing that must be said in order to get to the bottom of the problem, while making sure we preserve the relationship and sense of trust we've built with our client.

We really like the authors' suggested statements and questions, and the way they differentiate between rational framing, which is about understanding the essence of the problem, and emotional framing, which is about unearthing the emotions that lie beneath the surface.

In the final two stages of the process, the trusted advisor helps the client to pinpoint possible outcomes and get clear on goals, as well as to understand what's actually involved in taking the agreed course of action. How is the client going to cope with any obstacles that come up, or manage to stay the course when things go wrong?

We like the authors' realism here. They recognize that persuading a client to take certain steps is only part of the process. There may be some reluctance, and things rarely go exactly to plan. It's the role of the advisor to be frank with a client, to manage expectations, and to come up with ways to push through any resistance.

It's this kind of detail that makes "The Trusted Advisor" such a valuable read. The authors' combined experience shines through in their approach and in the case studies they choose. They know the potential pitfalls and how to get around them. They understand human nature and know how to get the best out of people. This book may have been written years ago, but its concepts are timeless and its advice is still relevant today.

Are there any downsides to this book? Firstly, we'd argue there are too many lists – almost 40, in fact. Some of them do help reinforce the authors' points, and having all the lists in one place at the back means the book can be used for quick reference. You can find a list that's relevant to you in the appendix and then turn to the related chapter. But this abundance of lists won't be to everyone's taste, and some lists are more insightful than others.

The book is also heavy on anecdote, but light on research and statistics, which might simply be because trust is hard to measure and quantify. Finally, some of the suggestions in this book are common sense. That said, there's plenty to learn and the authors' techniques are easy to apply in a range of situations.

For even more actionable tools, "The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook" is a great companion to this title. It's a hands-on manual packed with exercises, worksheets, questions, quizzes, stories, and more lists that builds on the original book. It's incredibly comprehensive, to the point of being overwhelming. Work through it over time in bite-sized chunks, with a co-worker or group from your organization, and we imagine you'll see huge benefits. The fieldbook can stand alone, but we think it's best to read "The Trusted Advisor" first, to get a good grounding in the authors' approach.

"The Trusted Advisor" by David Maister, Charles Green and Robert Galford is published by Simon & Schuster.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Thanks for listening.