The Leader as a Mensch

Bruna Martinuzzi: A mensch is a German word. Literally translated, it means a human being or a person. Now in Yiddish it's a popular word that has very deep connotations, so, when we talk about a mensch we talk about a person who has high integrity and honor. It's an upstanding individual; a decent person, someone that we admire. To be called a mensch, it's really the greatest compliment that one can give you.

And how do we know we're in the presence of a mensch? Generally we feel safe; it's a person who makes us feel good about ourselves. It's the type of person that has dependability, authenticity; they're optimistic, they're generous, they appreciate others; they just earn our respect without demanding it. And I like to sum it up by saying that it's basically an individual with high emotional intelligence.

Rachel Salaman: Well, we'll be talking about emotional intelligence in general a little bit later. How do those qualities help leaders, particularly in light of the current economic slowdown?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Well, they're very important in difficult times, especially right now in the US in particular, we're facing a huge leadership crisis, and it's always easy to lead when times are good; it's much harder to lead when budgets are cut, and morale is low, productivity is down, and people are generally anxious and depressed, so these are times that test a leader's mettle. So, in these times, it takes a mensch leader basically to lead people and help them, so there's a lot of things that a leader can do.

The first, I think, is to understand that they need to inspire others to stay engaged, to continue to give their best, even through the hard times. And I like a quote I read once that leaders are dealers in hope so, even when the news is not good, the leader needs to remain optimistic, and translate that attitude to the people. I think it was Martin Luther King who said, "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." So the leader's role is crucial in times like this, so that they continue to instill that hope in people, so that's the first thing.

The second thing is that leaders need to offer a historical perspective for people, and Howard Gardner said, "Leaders act in a stream of history." So they need to make people understand that we've been through tough times before, and we all have experienced downturns and downsizings, and there was the 'tech bubble' in 2000 and so on, and some people who are older, they will remember the downturns in the 1970s and so on, and we have overcome these things, so a leader needs to give that perspective for people, so that's the second thing.

The third thing is that, in these times, it's even more important for a leader to manage their own emotions so that the negativity, the negative news doesn't spill over on their own attitude and then, in turn, infects everybody else on the team. So being cool and calm and collected and setting a good example, that's key. I mean, it's key at all times but especially now.

Another thing I would say, and that's the fourth thing, is that in these times especially, leaders need to put more emphasis on communication; spending time with people and building relationships, so that people don't lose heart; and finally creating the teamwork. That's important because during these times people's negativity comes out. They're stressed so they will not co-operate easily, and relationships can deteriorate, start to blame each other, and start to watch the metrics and what keeps them safe, and so it's important for the leader to continue to instill that teamwork and keep people engaged, so I would say these are some of the things that a leader can do.

And I'd like to add, Rachel that these are wonderful times for a leader to seize that opportunity, to say, "How can I make a difference?" And people would remember that, so it's a great opportunity actually.

Rachel Salaman: Now your book, "The Leader as a Mensch," is structured around some of those qualities and some of the qualities you mentioned earlier. In three sections, which you've called Roots, Trunk and Branches, why did you choose that tree analogy?

Bruna Martinuzzi: I knew people would ask me that, and basically the tree contributes a great deal to our wellbeing and, just when you think about it, provides oxygen for us to breathe and food in the form of the fruit, nuts and so on and beauty and, if not tempered by man, most trees will outlive us, so I've always been inspired by trees as there's something majestic about them, so that was the foundation, but then I came across a wonderful article. It's entitled The Human Tree, and it showed that there is an affinity with trees, which are considered a botanical analogy with our spiritual life and what they can teach us about our own lives.

And, just to make it short, I don't want to go through the whole analogy, but if we take just the roots for example, they're the least glamorous part of the tree, but they're crucial, but they're buried underneath, they're invisible, but a tree cannot survive without them. And so, when you think about leadership, there are some things that are sort of a foundation, that the leader cannot survive in the long term, cannot thrive without them, and that is authenticity, humility and empathy. They are non-negotiable to be a great leader.

And another concept that comes from this whole idea of the tree is that, when you think about it, the roots must keep pace with the body, so if the trunk and leaves of a tree grow and spread without a proportional increase in its roots, then the tree will collapse under its own weight, and it's the same with a leader. They can progress, go up to higher positions and so on, and if they start to become arrogant, lose their humility, they start to lose that empathy about others who are below them; they start to shortcut things and lose some of their authenticity in order to survive in terms of politics and so on; then eventually they will break.

Eventually it's the same as the tree that will collapse under its own weight, so that's part of the analogy, and I was ecstatic when I saw that article because it tapped in on what I liked about trees, and what I always felt about trees.

Rachel Salaman: In the Roots section of your book, as you mentioned, we have humility, authenticity and empathy. How important are these three characteristics to a leader?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Well, they're the foundation, as I said they're the roots, extremely important. So if you take for example authenticity. So what is it? That's the essence of credibility. Without authenticity or integrity a leader has no credibility, and if a leader's not credible, then people will not believe them, and if they don't believe them they're not going to believe the message. If they don't believe the message then they will just go through the motions. They will do what they're told but, you know, to preserve their jobs, but that's not leadership. That's going to be compliance, so the authenticity is key; especially in these times. We have lost our innocence about leaders. There's been so many bad examples and so authenticity is key.

The other one is humility. Without it what happens? Leaders can make many errors, and they may not admit mistakes. They may not have the humility to ask for feedback, to ask for advice, and no one can have all the answers. No leader can have all the answers, so you need people; you need to surround yourself with people that you can listen to and take advice from, so there's a lot of negative behaviors that we see in leaders from that community.

The other one is empathy. Empathy is what? It's being aware of other people's feelings and needs and concerns, so this is key. It's a key competency, if you want, or quality: the capacity to intellectually and emotionally identify with others, and it's truly what distinguishes great leaders from everyone else, so they're the foundation.

Rachel Salaman: Okay. Well, let's just take one of those, let's say empathy, how would someone go about developing their empathy?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Several things. First of all is listen: just develop your ability to listen to people, and truly listen to people. That's listen with your ears, your eyes, your heart; trying to understand what people are saying and the contextual aspects, not just the words. And second, don't interrupt people. Don't dismiss their concerns offhand; don't rush to give them advice; don't change the subject. Just allow people their moment.

Another one is when you first meet someone for the first time, make a conscious effort to focus on how are they feeling about themselves when they're in your presence. We're always so focused on ourselves. Are we making a good impression? Are we saying the right things and so on? But if you just put that brake on, and just let it be about them, that will go a long way towards starting to develop empathy for others.

Rachel Salaman: So the Roots are what grounds us invisibly in your tree analogy. The Trunk, by contrast, is the most visible part of the tree, and here in your book we find accountability, optimism and mastery. What difference do those qualities make to leaders? Let's start with accountability.

Bruna Martinuzzi: Well, they're huge. Accountability is, if you're not – when you're accountable you take responsibility for what is expected of you, first of all, so you're going to try and achieve what you're required to achieve as a leader, and if things don't go right you accept the blame; you don't go around looking for scapegoats. When there's a lack of accountability in a leader then it results in a lack of commitment on others because they will watch the leader as a role model and say, "Well, okay, if he or she is not accountable then why do I need to be?" So that's important.

It also ties to authenticity, as we spoke about earlier, authenticity being the foundation. If you're not accountable then you're not authentic, and you're not living the values, you're not living the mission, vision and all of those things.

In terms of optimism, as I said before, leaders are dealers in hope. They're purveyors of hope for other people, and they create the conditions that allow others to be able to discover their greatest potential. So when you have optimism as a leader, you have the ability to convince others that they're capable of achieving more, so looking at people as a reservoir of talent and painting an optimistic view of the future for them you are able then to move them away from being stuck in the status quo; from wallowing in the problems and so on, showing them there is something better ahead, so that's key.

So all of those; mastery – that is, mastery over the self and over relationships: also key because, when you think about it, relationships are the human capital in an organization. We cannot do anything without other people, so mastering the relationship, mastering ourselves, knowing that we, the quality of our relationships are dependent on who we are as a person, so when you do that, you set the conditions for people to achieve, to do better, to give you their very best.

Rachel Salaman: And then part three of your book concerns the Branches of the tree, and there's an interesting chapter on leaders' moods, which are called the 'dimmer switch' of performance. Now this makes sense because moods are obviously the manifestation of emotions. In your experience, how often do leaders consciously try to control their moods?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Well, the good, the great leaders, the good leaders, they do it because they know the importance of it. In fact there's a lot of research out there that has shown that the effect of a leader's mood on the team, it actually affects the bottom line, the financial results. Things like revenue growth, the return on sales, efficiency, profitability, all of that are determined by the climate in an organization and the climate is determined by the leader.

Daniel Goleman, in part of his efficiency, he said that "50-70% of how employees perceive their organization's climate is directly attributed to the actions and the behaviors of the leader." So the good leaders know, and they work on that, and I've worked for marvelous leaders who at the time I knew I was very close to them, very stressed, but when they entered the room and talked to employees they worked on that. They worked on appearing in a way that was more inspiring for people, so it's not about faking it, because people can see through that, but it's about regulating your emotions; it's about managing your emotions so that they don't take the better of you.

Rachel Salaman: Is that just as simple as telling yourself to control yourself, or are there any particular practical tips people can employ for this?

Bruna Martinuzzi: There's a lot of things. It's practicing of course being positive; it's thinking in terms of the past, what can you learn from your past in terms of how you have overcome challenges in the past? It's looking at things from a historical perspective, which is very important for a leader. It's staying focused on the vision and continuously reminding people of the vision, and reminding yourself of the vision; reminding yourself as to what was exciting about your product, your industry, your company and so on, and not losing sight of that.

And I was reading an article, Nelson Mandela for example, when he was on Robben Island, his fellow inmates felt that they drew great strength from him because he had a sense of calm and quiet. Even in the worst possible circumstances he always seemed to hold his head high, as if he somehow knew that everything would work out well, so it's that conscious effort to do that, and there's many other things a leader needs to do. Of course you need to also stay yourself in shape, whether it's meditation; a lot of good leaders do a lot of meditation, reading inspiring books, spending time with good people, reading good books, those are all important things.

Rachel Salaman: Generosity is another quality that you single out in this section. What type of generosity do you mean here?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Basically generosity in every sense of the way, and it has nothing to do with money. For example, it's giving people a sense of importance, getting them to understand that what they do is important, no matter who it is, even the receptionist who answers the phone, that's important. That's the first impression people get when they phone, so every job is important.

Giving people feedback, not criticism, so doing it in a way that it doesn't erode the relationship. Giving people visibility for example, sending them off to conferences or allowing to make a presentation on your behalf that is going to give them visibility in the company. Giving anonymously for example, thinking about one or two well-deserving people in the organization and planting a seed on their behalf; maybe speaking to somebody higher up who has some authority over them, saying something positive about them that you've observed. They don't even need to know that. They don't even need to be reporting to you; it's just people you work with.

Another way of showing generosity is knowing when to forgive, allowing people to make a second impression because often first impressions are fatal and we don't forgive people, but giving people the benefit of the doubt. Another form of generosity is giving people encouragement, praise, genuine praise. Giving people opportunities, finding what doors can you open for someone. Generosity is also sharing your knowledge, your experience, mentoring someone or coaching. For example, Jack Welch has spent hundreds of hours teaching others, GE managers and executives at his company. Andy Grove is CEO of Intel, who also used to spend a lot of time mentoring and coaching others. Giving moral support, I mean, the list is unlimited on what a leader can do to show generosity to others.

Rachel Salaman: It sounds like they also need to have quite a good imagination to think of even half of those things.

Bruna Martinuzzi: Yes, exactly. It takes a little bit of effort, but I'm a firm believer in the creativity of people and if they just make a decision that they want to improve in those areas, they can do it.

Rachel Salaman: Well you finish the book by looking at Appreciative Intelligence. What's that?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Appreciative Intelligence was in the book by that title in fact, and it's the ability to perceive the positive enhanced potential in a present situation, and it's seeing the mighty oak in the acorn, which is in fact the subtitle of that book. So, metaphorically it's the ability to see more than what is in the present situation; to see what can unfold from what is there, and the authors give an example, the movie Hotel Rwanda which has an example of appreciative intelligence. So, if you look at that situation, the massacre there in 1994, over one million people killed and about three million people became refugees, and the manager of that hotel, he had that, he had that appreciative intelligence and he saved about 1,200 people from the violence.

So what did he do? He reframed seeing the guests as refugees. He saw the luxury hotel as a refugee camp, and even the hotel pool was a source of water after the supply was cut off. So instead of feeling helpless, he saw an opportunity here on cashing in, for example, on the good relationships he had developed with the military and the police and he used his positive language to help others come out of that.

So, in a nutshell, when you look at appreciative intelligence, there are three components: it's first the ability to reframe a situation, which he did. The second is the ability to appreciate what's the positive in this? And third, seeing how the future can unfold from the present; how a positive future can unfold from even the worst circumstances. And there's four qualities that come out of that: the first one is persistence, you don't give up; the second one is conviction that your actions matter, that whatever you're going to do is going to make a difference; third is being tolerant of uncertainty and ambiguity, not letting that derail you; and the fourth one is resilience, you develop resilience.

In "The Leader as a Mensch," I talk about that because the mensch leader has this uncanny ability to see others not as a problem to be fixed, but as a reservoir of talents and skills and ideas that need to be nurtured and developed and when we approach people that way, we get a lot more.

Rachel Salaman: Well, as well as being a leadership consultant, you're also an expert in emotional intelligence. How does emotional intelligence differ from what your book covers?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Well, I didn't set out to write a book on emotional intelligence. I wrote a book about a mensch, and that's basically because, when we look at all of the leadership books and the qualities that we want in a leader, when we look at emotional intelligence and what does it mean, it all really boils down to one thing, and that is being a mensch. That's being a decent human being. You can kind of sum it up in just this simple concept.

So the qualities I talk about in the book are part of the fundamental qualities of a person that has emotional intelligence, and if we take for example relationship management, which is a major tenet of emotional intelligence, the ability to inspire and influence and connect with others. Well, when you look at what I have in the book, which is appreciation of others, generosity, all of that, that is a part of it.

The second part of emotional intelligence is self-management. That's the ability to control our emotions and our behavior, and in the book I talk about mood management, about mastery, about humility, authenticity, being accountable, all of that is a part of emotional intelligence. And when we look at social awareness, which is another of the major qualities of emotional intelligence, this ability to sense and understand others, well empathy is what I talk in the book; I have a chapter on that. So there's a strong correlation, even though I didn't set out to do that because the mensch has all of that, and that's what I love about that concept.

Rachel Salaman: So what's the history of the emergence of emotional intelligence as a management issue, because it's quite a buzzword these days, isn't it?

Bruna Martinuzzi: It is, yes, and, you know, emotional intelligence is not new. I would say, you know, our grandparents didn't run around the countryside with a book on emotional intelligence to know how they should treat their neighbors. They knew innately what it is, but what is new is that now we have a term for it. Another thing that's new is industry has finally realized that this is important, that IQ, technical skills and all of that is not the only thing; there is this other component.

What is new as well is that – and I just want to mention that some time ago I saw a job description of the Harvard Business Review and they had empathy as part of what was required in the job, and I thought to myself how interesting, how often do we see that in a job description? So industry is quite clued-in now to this idea that emotional intelligence counts for success, and the other thing that's new, so the other thing that's new is that we now have a way to scientifically measure emotional intelligence. We didn't used to have those tests, so we have that.

Rachel Salaman: So how do you know if you need to work on your emotional intelligence?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Well, the first thing is you can judge from your level of stress and tension. If it's high then your EQ is low 'cause you're not managing yourself properly. You can also judge by how you handle your emotions. Do you get angry often? Do you experience a lot of frustration? Do you have difficulty controlling your anger? So that's another way, and you can also judge from the quality of your relationships, both at home and at work. If most of your relationships are not working optimally, then you need to ask yourself some questions. How good are you at collaboration, at listening? Do you show empathy? How do you cope with conflict? What's your trust level? Are you trustworthy? Are you reliable? Do you keep your promises? How do you communicate? Do you communicate openly? Do you treat others with caring and respect? When you make mistakes, what do you do? Do you admit it? Do you do it completely and quickly? Do you share credit for success? You know, there's a lot of things like that, so these are clues that will tell you that your emotional intelligence needs some work.

Rachel Salaman: So do you have one or two top tips you can share to get people on the road to improving their emotional intelligence?

Bruna Martinuzzi: Yeah, I can give you three quick tips. The first one is: choose your arguments. Consider what is worth arguing about and what is not and you just have to let go and move on.

The second one is: don't take things personally, most things are not and I see that all the time. I see people, they make movies, something happens and then they'll talk to someone else and they'll add their interpretation and fill in the gaps and all of that and, before you know it, they have made a movie that they believe is the reality, when often it's not, and that all stems from taking things very personally. I want to very quickly recommend a book, which is called The Four Agreements, and in it there's a wonderful chapter on this whole issue.

And the third one is: improve your listening skills. That is so key to developing empathy, and so many of us feel not heard. Just give people their moment. Let them tell you the story; let it unfold. Give them that time.

Rachel Salaman: Bruna Martinuzzi, thank you very much for joining us.

Bruna Martinuzzi: Thank you, Rachel.

Rachel Salaman: The name of Bruna's book again is "The Leader as a Mensch." There's more information about Bruna and her work at her website www.increaseyoureq.com.

I'll be back with another Expert Interview in a couple of weeks. Do join me then. Goodbye.