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Networking is all about building relationships based on mutual friendship and reciprocity.
‘Sow before you reap.’[1]
Developing a network takes time. It involves building up a base of contacts and building productive, long-term, mutually beneficial relationships with them so that you can call on them when you need help, information or support. It’s not a short-term activity – you won’t get very far by calling on people only when you need a solution to a specific, immediate need.
You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.
The key to building successful networking relationships is reciprocity: both parties must benefit. You need to think about the other person’s needs – they will lose interest if they feel that the relationship is one-sided. This doesn’t necessarily mean returning favors straight away – the other person might not need to call on your help for a long time. The important thing is that they feel that you are genuinely interested in helping them achieve their goals and are willing to support them if necessary. Networking means building strong partnerships.
How Do You Start a Successful Relationship?
Some people in your network will never be more than just contacts, whereas others will be friends for life – it all depends on the level of rapport between you. You need to work at building rapport from your very first meeting with a new contact.
Rapport is about understanding the other person and showing a genuine interest in their needs. How do you do this? Here are some tips:
- Listen carefully to what they have to say.
- Figure out their needs, objectives and motivations and demonstrate interest by using open questions when speaking to them. Be careful not to come across as interrogating them or trying to catch them out, though.
- Show empathy – with sincerity. Attempt to understand the other person’s perspective. Observe their body language and tone of voice to interpret their feelings and reflect these feelings back to them.
- Think about your own values and prejudices, i.e. what makes you tick. Being more self-aware will help you to become more aware of others and develop empathy with them. Don’t let your personal opinions affect how you deal with others – accept and value the differences between you. Having a different perspective can be really helpful.
- Talk openly about your own goals and aspirations – this will demonstrate a level of trust. The other person is only likely to be open with you if they feel that you have been open with them.
- Be confident about your personal value and what you can do to help others. If you don’t have confidence in what you can bring to a relationship, neither will the other person, and you will find it difficult to start building a relationship with them. To a certain extent, you have to ‘sell’ yourself when you first meet a new contact. Think about your key strengths, skills and experience and what you can do to help the other person.
How Do You Maintain a Relationship?
After the initial meeting with a new contact, you need to work at maintaining the relationship, focusing on the process of the relationship as well as the content of your discussions.[2] Don’t just treat it as a business transaction or exchange of information – aim to achieve a deep understanding of the needs and values of the other person. Here are some tips on how to do this:
- Get to know people on a personal level, even if you are networking for business reasons. What are their interests? What do they do in their spare time? What are their children’s names? Where did they go on their last holiday? Keep in touch regularly to ask them how they are doing – don’t contact them only when you need their help.
- Start a system for storing details of people in your network. As well as contact information, record key personal details about them, such as their goals, values, family details, hobbies and interests. Remembering the names of their children, for example, or their favorite hobby, will help you to connect with them on a personal level and will show that you are interested in them.
- Keep your eyes peeled for anything relating to other people’s goals. For example, you might want to send them a cutting of a newspaper article that is relevant to a project they are currently working on. This will show that you are interested in their issues and in helping them to achieve their goals.
- Be reliable. If you make an arrangement to meet someone, stick to it, or give plenty notice if you have to rearrange it. Also, if you agree to do something for someone, keep to your word – do it, and do it on time.
- When you meet with someone, even if it is to ask for their help, always think about how you can both benefit from the meeting. If there is a way of returning the favor, suggest it. If there’s nothing useful that you can do to help the other person in the immediate future, make it clear that you will be happy to return the favor whenever they need your help.
- Follow up meetings to say thanks and also to reinforce key points or actions. This will demonstrate that you are well organized and genuinely interested in following up on what you agreed.
- Finally, make it easy for other people to contact you. Keep a handy supply of business cards with you to hand out when you meet new people. And put contact details on your email signature block, including links to your (business appropriate) social media profiles like LinkedIn and Twitter.
References[1] Mick Cope, Personal Networking: How to Make Your Connections Count (Financial Times Prentice Hall, 2003), p 32.[2] John Lockett, Powerful Networking: 20 Golden Rules (Orion Business Books, 1999), p 129.
